1 in 4 People Are Not Faking

1 in 4 people will experience some form of mental illness throughout their lives.

And it angers me so, so much, when people raise views about people like me.

I’ve been told before that I’m faking. That I’m just seeking attention. That I’m fake.

I’ve been around others, who make fun of other people for ‘faking’.

So let me ask you, what is YOUR definition of some-one who’s faking?

Me scrunched in a ball, tears flowing down my cheeks, panic rising, the fear overwhelming. To me, it is all extremely real. At that moment in time, I don’t bloody care what you are thinking, or what you’re saying. I care about getting outΒ alive. Sometimes I think I might not make it. Are you telling me that all those feelings, I’m creating for attention?

Believe me. Anyone who has ever experienced a mental health illness will KNOW how horrible, how awful and how terrible it is to have to live through one.

So to say that we are faking, makes it all a hundred times worse.

We don’t fake our anxiety. Or our panic attacks. Or the way we’re feeling. Or the temptation to hurt ourselves. Or our depression. Or our OCD. Or our ADHD. I’m not saying I have all those issues, but ‘we’ are ‘we’, because we all experience similar things and none of us are alone. I don’t fake ANY of it. None of us do. Okay?

For you to say that I, or any of us, are faking, means you are insulting a quarter of the population, including famous figures who you look up to. Including possibly you, one-day.

People often say that some-one who is self-harming is just seeking attention. How can this be true? To do that, there must be something in their life causing them to feel that way. So, they do it. And MAYBE they want the attention, because inside they are screaming for help, that they are not okay and that they need someone to notice. MAYBE they figure that this is the way for some-one to realise they are struggling. That’s not seeking attention. That’s seeking HELP.

Never, ever tell me I’m faking.

You’d hate to be me.

Maybe ONE-DAY you’ll experience it too, so be careful what you say.

Love, Em x

TWITTER: @LyfWithEm

INSTAGRAM: @LyfWithEm

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92 thoughts on “1 in 4 People Are Not Faking

  1. em, this is an amazing post!!Thats the reason why I rarely talk about things like that, because i don’t want to look like an attention seeker!!Your post is really really truthful, and thats what I love about your blog!!Xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I understand this and it’s part of the reason I’m taking a break from blogging. Someone was asking around on ask.fm to like people in my year – popular people – ” ops on Chloe faking panic attacks?” And it really got to me and it’s been very recently and has upset me because I thought I was going to die and I went to the nurse and I couldn’t breathe and I was so scared I didn’t know what to do. People think it’s cool when they tease people about serious issues and it’s something that’s not actually funny. If I was faking it I would’ve done it more often, practically everyday tbh. But it happened once. Once, and I’m apparently faking it. People stress me out so much ☹☹. X

    Like

  3. EM THIS POST MEANS SO MUCH TO ME YOU DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND HOW AMAZED I AM BY THIS POST. i hate talking about my depression because i’m TERRIFIED people will judge me and say i’m faking it, even when at that very moment its the realest feeling to me. people don’t understand. this post made me so incredibly happy. thank you.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Hello there!! I have read your posts and saw the pictures you posted. and I just wanted to tell you that, It’s AMAZING!
    I was thinking that we could be blogging friend or even real life friend?! I followed your blog so would you follow mine too? We could be friends!! Nice to know you! ^^

    Liked by 1 person

  5. It angers me when people say that we’re faking it, that it’s not real. Why would anyone make this up? Why would anyone want attention for this kind of thing? Sure, there are people who MIGHT be faking it, and that’s just, quite simply, sick. But to be honest, we have no way of singling them out, and by saying that mistakenly to someone who isn’t faking it, we can make things a million tiems worse. But most people aren’t faking it; it’s depressing that we live in a world where we actually have to consider this at all.

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  6. Well said Em! I prefer not to tell people about my anxiety and panic attacks exactly because of this. They think that I just use the term ‘anxiety\social anxiety’ so I can get out of situations and I find that SO SO FRUSTRATING.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Don’t listen to people who call you fake. Everyone has their own lives, their own problems, their own experiences, so it’s not right to call someone a fake just because they don’t believe you, or even when you might not have exact proof. Just because people make things a little dramatic or a little different than what’s expected doesn’t mean they’re faking. And I totally agree with your post. Others shouldn’t just jump to conclusions and call people fake for doing something differently. I know how annoying it is when people say my drawings aren’t mine, when I’m not lying, or when people claim that I’m plagiarizing something that looks good. But honestly, I’m not. I hate when people don’t believe you and just assume you want attention just because you’re good at something, or just because you’re different.
    The only time I know when people are faking is when they make an obvious, blunt lie. For example, if you saw someone throw their trash on the ground and you go up to them and ask… and they just say, “I didn’t throw it on the ground, you’re lying and you know it,” that sorta thing. But unless there’s a legitimate, solid proof to something being “fake” then people have no right to claim someone else “fake” or “real”. Don’t listen to the people out there who call you fake, you’re perfect the way you are.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. It’s all so sad and frustrating. People should try and think about what they’re actually saying! Faking a mental illness is rude and inconsiderate, and falsely accusing someone of faking one is even worse! I’ve been accused of faking ADHD as an excuse for not doing homework or whatever, but that’s not it at all. I’m sorry that happened to you! x

    Liked by 1 person

  9. It’s so frustrating. I dont tell anyone that I’ve got a mental illness because they’ll probably think that I’m trying to attract attention and I should just stop so I try to keep it in which is probably the worst thing to do. Why do people judge so much?! xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I honestly don’t know. Like WHAT does it gain them!? I’d love to not tell anyone, but unfortunately with panic attacks it’s not that easy. Everyone sees. All the time. At school. In lessons. Outside. In shops. It’s awful 😦

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Luckily I haven’t had a massive panic attack yet but I did have a small one when I had a paper round and delivered it to the wrong house and I had to bike home with a heavy bag on me and I cut my hand on a bush and I had a panic attack but only my mum saw. It must be awful to have panic attacks like that, I just have a mild case of anxiety xx

        Liked by 1 person

  10. You are not fake and this is a serious matter and I wish people do accept that it is no joke. And faking mental is not funny and it does get to me even if I don’t have it. I hope everything turns out well for you. Don’t worry, karma will get them backπŸ˜‚

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I completely understand this. I’m a really anxious person and I sometimes suffer from panic attacks and I tend to worry excessively a lot. However, my friends don’t really understand that sort of thing so I haven’t told them. Also all my friends are really out going and when I’m feeling really down or anxious, they don’t really understand. But there are people that understand, people like you Em and thats the type of people that will be there for you no matter what xx

    Liked by 1 person

  12. It’s so bad to hear someone say you’re faking it! Especially because a lot of people who cut often end up hiding the fact that they cut! So how could that be attention seeking!? And also for someone like me, who already doubts everything about myself, being called attention seeking sometimes really hurts and confuses me cuz then I feel like maybe I am attention seeking and not relaly depressed and I start thinking that what if I am faking it and that leads me to a downward spiral! Then I have to sit down and explain to myself that what I’m go in through is real and I’m not faking and my feeling are valid. I just hate that people think someone would fake a mental illness for attention. I mean how can someone fake a panic attack or feeling so bad that they want to kill themselves? How can someone fake that? Sorry, I’m ranting but I’m just so angry about this!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re allowed to feel angry and rant – there’s no need to apologise. I’m so sorry to hear you’ve gone through that, because I’ve been going through a very similar time so I understand. I’m always here if you need to talk ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  13. So many people are unable to see life from somebody else’s perspective, which means they can never really know. Don’t let them get to you. I try to be grateful that I’m not usually one of them, illness has allowed to empathise with others. I hope you can to? πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  14. It’s annoying it is to be saying your faking for the attention, but at the end of the day it comes from people faking it for attention. How can you tell? I think it’s easier for me to tell because I know what to look for. And then people talk about the people faking then you doubt yourself. Something else that annoys me is people that think being nervous is anxiety and feeling sad is depression because it makes those with those issues feel pathetic and small. I remember once my friend being asked if anxiety was contagious? Like seriously people think before you speak.

    Rant over sorry. Hope your okay X

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ve literally been told that SO many times. At parents evening one of my friends was told by TWO teachers that she needed to be careful to not catch anxiety. Like, HOW is that acceptable for anyone to say – let alone our teachers!?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh my days that must have been awful. As teachers you would think they’d have some understanding of that. In year 8 I had a panic attack ( it wasn’t anything massive or major) in Drama, the teacher let me and a friend out but then she came and because I was having a stereotypical sat on the chair fanning myself I got 20 questions about what I was doing and exaggeration etc. Teachers especially need to learn that they’re in a way role models and they spend everyday pretty much with us, they should know stuff like that.

        Liked by 1 person

  15. This post really reminds me of when I was in high school and teenagers were really starting to be honest and come out about their mental illnesses and confessing to doing things like cutting themselves. They were being more open about it, not hiding it. And I remember people would see someone with cuts or scars and say things like, “Oh, they’re just doing that for attention.”

    And all I could think was, “You absolute s**tstain, how dare you? Don’t you think there are far better ways of getting attention than mutilating oneself? And even if they are doing it for attention, how desperate for attention would one have to be to slice oneself open to get it? And wouldn’t that level of ‘desperate for attention’ fall someone in the ‘neglected and depressed’ category, completely validating their illness, anyway?”

    Liked by 2 people

    1. That’s exactly what I think! They must NEED the attention, if they want people to see and NEED someone to ask them how they are. Because chances are, they’re probably struggling and NOT okay, but people are too preoccupied with their own lives to notice. Then when they do, they think they’re seeking attention.

      Liked by 2 people

  16. Fuck them to be honest . you don’t have to explain your ”ilness” to them because it’s none of their buisiness . It angers me that some people cpuld never grasp the concept that some are different then them . That we are not the same individuals . Their ignorance is the factor that will destroy humanity one day . Please don’t explain yourself to anyone that doesn’t deserve it . I’m sorry you had to go trough that . I don’t believe that you’re faking it at all because there’s no benefit for you to gain in order to do that .
    I got em . stay strong .

    Liked by 1 person

  17. OMGOSH! That’s so horrible! i Can’t believe someone would say such a thing to you 😦 I can’t believe how ignorant people can be 😦 ❀

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Your post just reminded me of something. More precisely, some-ONE. There was this girl in our class… She was all flirty most of the time, but sometimes… she just went crazy. Like, she’d start sweating and hyperventilating and just went berserk. Sometimes she’d faint. As time passed, she started becoming depressed and self-harmed. No one believed that a flirt like her could get into depression. That’s probably the shallowest logic ever, but we were kids at that time. None of us had any idea about all this stuff. We thought she was a fake. She changed school soon after that, and no one really remembers her anymore. This post… It just made me incredibly sad. It just reminded me how shallow I used to be. It reminded me of that girl whom all of us thought as fake. And it feels pathetic. :/

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ve personally known people who have depression and panic attacks — one of my close friends included. Thankfully, I now am more aware of it all and my mind has broadened. I think that is where all the judgement and shallowness comes from — the unawareness about these mental illnesses. If only people were more aware, things would be much better. Now I think I must’ve been a pretty horrible person back then. I feel so sad. And so very guilty. 😦

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Aw that’s a very touching story. It sounds like she was experiencing panic attacks too, am I right? Unawareness stinks, but that’s not your fault. It’s societys fault. You should NOT feel guilty, especially as you’ve changed, which is the only thing you CAN do and you’re now one of the most lovely people ever πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

        1. This is one of the reasons why blogging makes me feel so… whole. Reading posts like these… it always makes me realise things in self-introspection. It makes me look back on things I probably wouldn’t have otherwise. Sometimes old memories hurt, but most of the time they offer some kind of lesson to learn. And it’s as well that I learn the ones like these; since I myself have a friend suffering from anxiety and panic attacks, I don’t want to EVER do anything that’d hurt her. Like, ever.

          Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah that phrase annoys me too, even though I’m not male. But it annoys me. Just because someone is a guy doesn’t mean they HAVE to come across as hard and strong, especially if something tough is going on. It’s just not fair.

      Like

  19. I DON’T HAVE ANY OF THOSE ISSUES AND NEITHER AM I TOLD THAT I AM FAKE BECAUSE I WILL BEAT THAT PERSON INTO A PULP IF THEY SAY THAT, even though I am girl, it doesn’t matter, I have the strength. I just wish I could come to wherever you are and punch that person, who said all that to you, in the face. Okay, I confess, maybe I have called someone fake because of the way that person acted. Maybe I still feel it now but I don’t, really, know why. That person just acted like a sweet person in front of me whereas “it”, i don’t want to mention the gender, acted totally different behind my back. AND ME BEING ME I, somehow, GATHERED THE GUTS AND TOLD HER ABOUT IT ALL…. I know I many seem like those people who said this to you, but hurting someone was not my intention. I just wanted to tell that person how I felt about her and her behaviour. I didn’t use the word “fake” but it may mean that indirectly? I apologize, if this in anyway makes anyone uncomfortable, because I know I made a mistake and I am paying for it now….

    Liked by 1 person

  20. I really like this post, and unfortunately, I can relate. I’ve heard people say that I’m just “pretending” to be anxious for attention or that I’m being immature. I’ve also had people tell me that I’m being “too whiny” when I’m crying or when I’m sad because of my anxiety. It hurts when people who we’re so close to think this way. It’s one thing when people who we don’t know my think this, but it’s a whole different story (and much more tragic) when someone we love says this.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m sorry. Just remember that it really doesn’t matter what they think. YOU know that you’re not faking it and YOU know that you’re trying your hardest. I know it may be difficult to deal with people thinking things about you that aren’t true, but it’s important that you remember the truth. Stay strong!

        Liked by 1 person

  21. I have ADD, which is ADHD without the hyper (H) part, and I hate when I tell people that and they are like, oh, I totally get you. I have that too. And then they don’t and they are only faking it to make you feel better about it. I’m like, IT SUCKS and I don’t want your sympathy. And then I feel bad for yelling at them.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, but sometimes they THINK they have it and they don’t. A girl I know says she has anxiety, and she doesn’t. Like, I know I can’t judge. But she’s my friend and I just know she doesn’t. She says it to seem ‘cool’, but I’m like ‘if only you knew what anxiety was really like’.

      Liked by 1 person

  22. This is one of the truest post I’ve ever read , when people tell you your “faking ” it makes me more upset because is that what people really think about me? Most people who suffer with anxiety hate being anxious; saying from experience , I sometimes wonder and think , if the people who called us fakers had to go through what we do maybe they wouldn’t be saying it themselves .
    Such a great truthful post Xxx

    Liked by 2 people

  23. I hate how common is it for people to call others fake for merely talking about their mental health. I mean, it’s not for someone else to judge if someone has a mental illness. For some people it is really private, but others, especially if they’ve been living with it for a long time, are a bit more open to talking about it, and people assume that they must not have a real illness just because they’re discussing it. In fact, if they’re comfortable enough to talk about it, it shows how far they’ve came and/or how motivated they are to helping themselves overcome what they’re dealing with. Being able to discuss it is a very courageous thing to do. It also is dependent on your personality. It’s like with other sensitive topics such as sex, some people are comfortable to talk about, but other’s would rather keep it to themselves. And it’s like you said, it can happen to anyone at any point in your life. It’s not a choice and just because you talk about it doesn’t mean you’re craving attention.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Yeah. It’s not even really that I talk about it, cause I don’t much, except on my blog. They just see me having panic attacks and assume I’m doing it for so called ‘attention’. I wish they knew! I’d do anything for people to not know who I am again, to not remember my name.

      Like

      1. I know, but I’m just saying people in general. I don’t know how people think like that, I mean I wouldn’t know how to go about faking a panic attack if I wanted attention! And surely people can tell that you’re not a bad student, you’re not a troublemaker. If you disrupt a lesson or leave school, you’re not doing it because you don’t want to be there or for a laugh (even if you don’t want to be there), but as a result of anxiety that you cannot control. Hopefully statistics are somewhat reassuring because there will be people around you that will understand that you’re not doing it on purpose, even if your teachers are useless.

        Liked by 1 person

  24. It made me sad to read you’ve had people accuse you of ‘faking it’. It comes down to ignorance and maybe one day they will find themselves in the same position. Ignore the negativity, you can’t control it. But you can control how you react to it. Spend your energy on taking care of yourself rather than trying to prove others wrong in their views πŸ™‚ x

    Liked by 2 people

  25. mkai now time for my serious its ok comment, I have a bone thing to were there reallyyyyyyyyyyy weak. My whole life ive been really sick TnT still am its horrible because when i get a cold i have a 50/50 chance of landing in the ER I had pneumonia las year and I thought i was going to die, it was horrible…………

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Even though thats not mental, i told my friend about it and she told somebody and then she said that I was faking it for attention pretty soon everyone thought i was faking it or attention. It totally stinks ;-;

      Liked by 1 person

  26. I’ve faced depression and the same awful comments you did. I was so sad, so dark, I was becoming mad. I just wanted to get out of all of that, and people telling me my feelings were fake was the worst thing possible. I don’t ever want to go back to that place. That’s why I now try to help people in the same situation as me, I want to show them they can get out and be happy. I want them to know that they won’t ever need to go back or to look back.

    You’re not alone. I’ve listened and I care. Reach me at my e-mail if you want to talk: designingdreamstheblog[at]gmail[dot]com.

    Have the best day ever,

    Nícia ❀

    Liked by 1 person

  27. Honestly I hate when people fake a mental illness to be “cool” mental illness is that a joke it’s something serious that affects many people and to see people being so careless with it just annoys me

    Liked by 3 people

      1. The people I more see as faking are ones who post pictures of their self harm marks on Instagram and say things like “if this edit gets to 50 likes I won’t kill myself tonight!”
        I would never see you as faking it, but definitely people that I mentioned before up there I would say they’re faking it or doing it for attention.

        Liked by 1 person

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